Reflections on Motherhood

Becoming a Mom is a powerful and life changing experience. Whether you give birth to your child or not - once you accept a child into your heart as yours and you become their "Mother" - everything changes.

Motherhood is a journey - of the heart. It is an elite passage in which ME becomes THEM. Notice I did not say WE. The WE part comes when you form a union of love with your partner/husband. Once you are blessed with childen - it becomes greater than even your WE - it becomes about THEM. I never fully understood how amazing and how consuming our capacity to love and care for another was until I became a Mom. It was as if my heart "fully" opened up for the first time. I have loved & do love many people in my life (my husband, family, friends) but nothing equals the unconditional love that I feel for my daughters. I know that no matter what the future may hold - I will always love them. They are a part of me and they always will be.

Motherhood is an adventure. I never know what each new day will bring with these unpredictable little people in my life. It is thrilling and scary all at the same time. They open my eyes to looking at things in a different way. With them I have learned to embrace the joy, to go with the laughter, to find the fun in even the most mundane task. As we get older and lose our innonence we also seem to lose a bit of that sense of awe and wonder at the world. Seeing the world through the eyes of my daughters - I am reminded of how amazing it all is.

Motherhood is a test. It definitely feels that way some days. It can be a test of wills, a test of patience, a test somedays I feel like I've failed. It is wise to stop and remember that aside from the scoldings and time-outs - our children hold onto the hugs, the kisses, the applause, the moments when we just simply let it all go and play. So although somedays I may feel like I have failed -  I know that those good moments far outweigh the bad ones. I am far from perfect and I will definitely continue to fall short at times as a mother but the foundation of love that I have built with my daughters can withstand those moments. We can forge ahead - ever stronger and more resiliant than before.

Motherhood is a reminder. It is a reminder of all that is good in the world. As I look at the faces of my little girls - I am forced to remember that we all start out this young, innocent and open. It is up to us to ensure that the positive experiences outweigh the negative. It is up to us - to nurture, protect, encourage, teach, guide, motivate, love and above all else do no harm. These blessings that have been given to us - depend on us. We may falter and make mistakes but if we strive to do what is best for them - they can and will go far.

Motherhood is an experiment - there is no known or set "right" way to do it. We continually grow, change and adapt how we "parent". That is not only good, it is necessary. Our kids grow and change, we grow and change and time evolves and changes. It only makes sense to be willing to try new things, to let go of things that do not work, and to continue to learn and grow as parents.

Motherhood is a blessing. No matter what difficulties we may have, how many scribbles appear on walls or furniture, how many rules are not followed, how many valuables are broken or things go missing - I am blessed. I would not give up a second of what I have. For even on our worst days, I fully understand how lucky I am.

Motherhood is a gift. It is a gift that has been bestowed upon me. A gift I still often feel unworthy of. That these 2 remarkable little girls love me unconditionally, accept me for who I am (flaws and all) and still see me as wonderful is amazing. I know it won't always be this way - as they get older the sun will no longer rise and set on me in their world but for now - I embrace this gift, I savor it, I soak it all in and I am grateful for it.

Bern