School Anxiety - How Do You Help Your Child Deal With School Fears?

Things have been a bit hectic around here. Emotions are running high and this Mama is feeling a bit stressed out and over protective of her girls. The past few weeks my mind has been a bit scattered and even now, it's hard for me to even sit here and type even these first few sentences.

Why? Where to begin? How to explain? How to share without sharing too much? My Oldest Diva is having a rough time at school - not academically but emotionally. She is unhappy, anxious and nervous in her classroom environment and it's gotten so bad that she is showing physical symptoms like upset stomachs, headaches, etc. Her school anxiety is very real. It has developed over the past month and half  and is of great concern to me.

Academically she is doing great and I have nothing against her teacher personally, it simply seems as if this particular classroom just isn't a good fit for my daughter. She is an emotional child and very sensitive. Things affect her deeply and are not easily forgotten. My heart is breaking as I watch my usually happy and enthusiastic girl transform before my eyes into a girl that doesn't find any joy at school anymore.  This is new for us. She has always enjoyed school before now. She always gotten along well with her teachers and her classmates. This anxiety is unchartered territory for us. I am trying to figure out how I can help her thrive academically and be happy emotionally at school? She has lost this & more than anything I want to help her find it again, before it's too late.

These early years at school set the foundation for everything to come. I do not want her to be "turned off" of school in the 1st grade due to this anxiety. Can you imagine the lifetime of struggles we would have? As a teacher, I know that these years are so important, so crucial. You can spark a child for life or distinguish their flame. I have seen it happen. I do not want to see her flame extinguished. I want my happy and excited girl back.

I went to the school and once I was able to speak to the Administrators and voice my concerns they were very understanding and offered us a few options (for this I am very grateful!). One of our options is to change her current class. Do it, you might quickly say. It's a no-brainer. If this class makes her feel so anxious, move her. It makes sense, right?

Yet, I struggle with the decision. Why? This is a big move for our girl. My daughter is very sensitive. She is afraid of the "unknown" (this is a girl who will not enter another room in our house by herself) and moving now would mean starting over for her. This would be something she would also have to deal with - leaving the friends she has made and being back at square one. When I spoke to her about it, she cried. She told she was afraid to go to a new classroom. Yet, when I ask her if she could be happy staying where she is - her answer was no. The anxiety is very real for her. It has made her fearful.

My gut tells me that having a fresh start may be a good thing for her, in the long run.  She has these fears and anxieties that are wrapped up in that classroom - for whatever reason. Maybe a fresh start will present a clean slate so to speak. I don't doubt that the first few weeks might be difficult for her socially but she is a friendly girl and I know that she will make friends given some time. I just worry about adding to her school anxiety by thrusting her into a new situation. I want her to feel better, not more anxious.

So parents & teachers - what would you do? How do I deal with this new school anxiety? My biggest concern is for my daughter's emotional well being. I want her to be happy and excited about school. If faced with such a situation, what would you do?

I can not tell you the sleepless night I have endured fretting over how she is feeling and generally worrying about my girl. I want to make the best decision for her. I think I have gotten to the point where I am over thinking it.  For every positive, I find a negative, etc. Know what I mean? Please tell me I am not the only crazy Mama that does this. I so need to hear that I am not alone.

As we struggle with our issues, I am sure you can forgive my lack of content here. My mind is focused elsewhere right now. Please keep my little girl (and me) in your thoughts & prayers. All I want is my happy and excited girl back.

Bern

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